hello. i'm trying to explain.

Go outside, kiss the rain. Well, snow is going to be coming soon! I thought that it would actually be here by now, but I guess Colorado still has some tricks up its sleeves!

Cool thing of the day.. I have a new nephew. Even though I say I don't really want kids.. I just say that because I feel my kids will get over shadowed by the millions of them that my family already has.. Mine will be special to me though, and that is actually all that really matters. :) I will love them with everything I got!

Other cool thing... drum roll.. Melanie is coming to visit me!! I am excited! Like, I am truly excited and find myself smirking in my dumb classes at school when I am not listening to the professors talk about their hair dressers, not listening to their wives, being a psychologist, and well doing so much accounting problems.. haha. Funny, she is an accountant.. I have noticed I seem to attract accountant friends.. haha and nurses.. Maybe that is a good thing!

So its no shave November.. Last year I did this, I was extremely grateful for razors and whoever invented them. Uhh, I have not shaved since I would say, mid September?? haha, while playing basketball, they never even noticed! I am blessed with some parts that don't grow hair and the other spots tha do, well it has a light shade of blonde and is thin! Woo, thanks pops for that gene.

I have also been brought to much gratefulness for my family. My burdens always seem so much better after talking with them (Susan is a new sister). She has come in a great time of need and has helped me feel that I do have a friend that truly loves me and cares about my well being. Thanks girl. (ps, she got me addicted to the word dammit. haha. Apparently during the accounting exam my professor heard me say dammit hahaha)

I have been working on forgiving others more easily and trying to just be nice. Oh man, it is a challenging task!! Let me tell ya. At work I have become a total grump in the mornings, and I am trying to be happy at the butt crack of dawn, but I have to admit... it gets to you! Not to mention only getting about 2-4 hours of sleep every night.. haha thats probably why I am falling asleep in Psychy ward. hahaha.

I love my family, I am grateful to have have lessons from them about being grateful, to be more loving and being able to watch how they love their children with such an unconditional love. I cannot wait to be an example to little ones. Hopefully I will be much improved! I know that others love me.

I just have this looming question, how can we always be so forgiving when somethings can be so hurtful? Why keep holding onto things that of course don't seem as important to the other person?

As you grow older the things that you hold high, change. I believe I have changed dramatically. I hold and cherish my family closer to my heart. In class, my professor asked why us we are doing the things that we do. Many students said it is because they want to prove everyone wrong that said they could never achieve what they are actually doing, while I agree... I admitted I am doing it because I want to, I want to feel self-fulfillment, and know that I have the ability to do what I want, without such negative feelings towards others. She nodded, so I think that was approval.

A choice that I will make in the near future will alter things greatly. What will I decide...

Oh what grad school should I apply to, one in warmer states??? That is a yes. haha. but where?

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