our hearts.

i will not always know, but for one thing your family does love you and will do anything just to see you happy. do your part.

it has been pretty crazy with moving some of my stuff up here to my apartment in co. pictures will have to come later as my room is still a bit crazy, and not really organized! my heart has been deeply softened from the love that i felt from my family on my vacation. i have been really angry for a long time, and i think that i can let go of a lot of it. its time.

being back at work these last few days has been great! there is one thing about our hearts, and that is that it knows what we absolutely love to do. so no matter how much you think you hate your job, you dont. you really love it! last night we did a plate up for a 1,000 people. it was actually for the ballet. (i made the joke that if the guys were going to be in their tight clothing i had to get a peak, haha i even laughed, plus my chefs all admitted that they missed me and my silly jokes!) glad someone misses me here in co. as my mom says its sad that i don't really feel apart of the church here and that i have to resort to not having lds friends with good morals. maybe i am learning something.

today at work i felt absolutely sick to my stomach... at the most dumb time of course! I woke up and felt fine, just a bit shaky and cold... but it is really cold outside. so we are setting up our waffle station and i look at brad and i am like i hope they have a restroom down here (we went even further down than the basement... majestic is such a dumb room to get to. anyhow so i was getting all these hot flashes and i was sweating like a monkey! like i never sweat like this in front of guests. i felt absolutely horrible but i told brad i would be right back and ended up not coming back for a half hour cause i was sitting down trying to regain everything that was in my head. luckily i found out that a stomach bug is going around, lucky me, i caught it! a girl got me some cranberry juice and i sipped on it. i think that is what actually got me through the day! thank the heavens.

my father gave me a fathers blessing that i would love my profession that i have chosen.. within a few minutes of being back at work i realized how much i really liked the pressure and stress that they put on me. so many blessings i have been blessed with. my head chef said they would help me out and give me some over time since i missed out on so much work, right when he said it i had to stop and say a prayer in my heart, i felt so grateful and loved.

the other day we were talking about ice creams and different brittles that we have tried, for example in class we made bacon brittle, eh it was interesting. but a guy at work was telling me about how his class made escargo ice cream! talk about sick. i wouldn't even want to try it. if you want to you don't have to put snails in ice cream but if you buy them canned, look at one carefully and tell me what you think it looks like. to me, it looks like a butt. yep.

tomorrow i start the weight loss thing. and my friend just informed me that it gives you the runs for two weeks... thanks. that is something they skipped out on. they should mention that when they sell it to you. ugh. oh well lets just hope nothing comes out at work! haha, uh chef, i need new pants... hahaha. should i carry extra undies with me? hahaha. ok, i am done.